This weekend has not been good at all!!! Not so much with the alcoholism or anything. Just family bullshit... But tonight was the straw that broke the camel's back.
First off, my fiance' and brother both are telling me that alcoholism is not a disease. GOOGLE IT!!!! And trust me fellas... I know a lot more about it than you do. I have done my research. They ask me, "well, why don't you just stop drinking?". Okay, go ask a cancer patient why they can't just stop having cancer?... FUCKING IDIOTS!!!! One builds fences and the other makes pizzas. I don't think they had to get a PHD for that!!! Don't fucking tell me when I have read up on it and done tons of research. Let alone lived through it myself!!! Yes, K did use to drink like a fish in his teen years but he doesn't have an alcoholic gene in his body. If he did, he would have had to sought out help just like I am doing now in order for him to stop.
Then to top it off, K says he supports me and blah blah but he won't read one little tidbit of information that I looked up or him so that maybe he would have a better understanding? He straight up fucking REFUSED to read it. ONE god damned page on the computer... And god forbid I ask him to go to the open meetings and al-anon group. he only wants to go every other Saturday because we play poker after the meeting.
If he doesn't step up and start making an effort to better US (my alcoholism effected and is still effecting him now) we are going to start drifting apart. That's the last thing I want. This man is the love of my life and the father of my child.
I wouldn't be trying to shove this down his throat if I didn't think him not getting involved wouldn't effect our relationship. But it will...
Well, enough ranting for now. Goodnight!!
REMEMBER: IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!!!
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